“ You know what charm is: a way of getting the answer ‘yes’ without having asked any clear question.”
Albert Camus
When you think of a Gentleman, you think of a Charming Man. A man who can speak to anyone and get anyone to like him, with a few words and an attitude. You think of George Clooney, Hugh Jackman, Tom Hiddlestone, Cary Grant and more from the past, but fewer in the present.
If a gentleman is charming, he can quickly overcome such problems as lack of funds, unfortunate looks and many other problems in his life, whatever is thrust upon him. This value alone can and will help him achieve many, many things.
“It is a great mistake for men to give up paying compliments, for when they give up saying what is charming, they give up thinking what is charming.”
Oscar Wilde
Therefore, what is being charming? Its definition and etymology all hint to a magical ability, power to influence or delight. In essence it is the ability to make other people feel at ease and comfortable around you.
We are told that you are born with charm or you are not, we disagree at here at PG. We believe it is a skill that like anything you can be taught. Yes, some people have it naturally and some people find it easier, but we all have it within our nature.
At its core, the skill is about making the other person more important in the interaction than yourself, by learning about them and engaging with them on a personal level. In fact being generally interested in the other person.
There are a number of skills and techniques about building exceptionally quick rapport with people, such as matching body language and speech patterns, these can be taught easily.
It does help if you can be witty, and have a joke or a self-deprecating anecdote to tell, but not all of us are stand-up comedians. Remember, being interesting is about being interested.
The great charmers are humble and self-effacing, keep that in mind.
A Gentleman’s Hint:
Listen – all great communication is about listening first. Find out about them and then discuss what is important to them.
