The Perfect Gentleman was founded to deal with many things, though most people think we are just about Style or Etiquette, but when the come and discover more about us, through the Code or the Main website then you discover that we are about the values and the ethos of the Gentleman not just the ability to wear dapper clothes or have good table manners. It is about the internal, the values, the core of you that makes a Gentleman.
One of the key principles of how yo show that you are a Gentleman is honour. Honour is more than the Dictionary definition about having personal integrity, it is about living up to those words and living by your actions. What happens when that fails? What do you do? How do behave as a Gentleman? Is your word your bond?
We are all fallible, that is what makes us human (as the cliche goes), the trick is how you handle those fallibilities and how you rise above them. This week, I have been on both sides of the coin and brought me to these thoughts.
Firstly, I asked a friend to help me out with something this week gone, he said yes. I double checked with him as I knew it would be a challenge for him to do this thing but he agreed to help. I then chased him for the things he said he would do. He then replied by email that he would not do it and he would not even help me with the ancillary stuff he had agreed to do.
Secondly, I agreed to do a favour for a friend some few months ago, it is a big favour and one I generally get paid a consulting fee for but I had agreed to do it for free. This thing is taking a great deal of time. I am having to do it around all my main work, such as Perfect Gentleman and my general consulting. I have had to delay the delivery of this project more than once.
How are these two things linked? It is about honouring your commitments and gentlemanly behaviour. I do feel extremely guilty for the delays I keep adding to the completion of the project but I get on the phone or email and immediately let this person know. I will get it done and they understand that it is a big piece and they are getting my time for free. My friend, I understand his position, but I am upset that he agreed and then changed his mind,
I remember hearing this from a great mentor of mine and I read it somewhere else – Say no quickly and first, then take time to think. If you can help then go back and say yes. If you say yes first and then can’t do it will make the other person extremely unhappy but the other way you have dealt with it first and then you can make them happy and keep your word and Honor.
Wise words and one I shall head again, moving forward. The Gentleman is always a learning path.
A Gentleman is measured by his actions and the he displays to his friends, family and those he engages with in the wider world. A handshake should me your word, even sometimes if it is to your detriment.
Yours Respectfully as always,