Our continuing series into the elements of the Perfect Gentleman’s Manifesto. There are three levels that we talk about, the first in the Internal or the Me. These are the things that we can control or at least change directly. We start with something that some people find the hardest to conqueror but is actually one of the simplest to affect, your Self-Confidence.
“Believe you can and you’re halfway there.”
One of the keys to success in life and especially in the worlds of romance and business is self-confidence; it is sometimes though the hardest value to grasp. Belief in yourself is knowing that you are comfortable in your own skin and abilities, but with the knowledge that you can always learn and do better.
Sometimes, it is not easy to find or develop this value; it is one that takes some time to build. There was a time when, our own 1st Gentleman lacked confidence, friendless and unwilling to step outside. He never believed that he would stand on stage in front of thousands of people, be able to influence others and have the confidence to run his own business.
There are now skills and techniques that are available to you to help with this. Our own 1st Gentleman used them to great affect. Just remember that small wins, rapidly build to bigger wins and greater confidence.
The simplest tool is the one of affirmations, even if you don’t actually believe it, you can bludgeon your mind to start the process of Self-Confidence. Affirmations are phrases that you say out loud, these start to change your mindset. A common example is “Everyday in every way I am getting even more Confident”. You repeat these phrases as a mantra for a period of time. We recommend doing them in front of a mirror and pretend that you believe the phrase.
Visualisations have been proved by sports scientists to massively improve performance and success. If you imagine it, believe it, feel as if it was so, then your chances of success increase. Sportsmen and women, visualise going through each stage of their event envisioning success. You mind can be confused into believe it is real. This is true for any situation a business meeting, a dinner date or that job interview.
Amy Cuddy, Professor at Harvard Business school, talks about ‘Power Postures’ that have been proved in her study to improve confidence and therefore performance. You can watch her inspirational TED talk here.
All in all you can improve your self-confidence even if you have very little. Though a Gentleman is neither arrogant nor conceited, just quietly self-assured.
The Perfect Gentleman’s Quick Confidence Boost –
If you need a confidence boost; Stand up straight and tall, place your hands comfortably on your hips, think Superman pose, and start to breath deeply, through your nose only and with each breath start to feel the confidence flow through you. Do this for one or two minutes and see what a difference it makes.
You can find the full Manifesto here
If you enjoyed this item you may also enjoy our recent post on Respect.
Next week; Determination.