The mind is a wonderful thing, but so very fragile.
We have been reminded frequently in recent months that the mind is a fragile thing. Some people’s issues hit the headlines because they are famous and others slip out of sight no matter how many people care.
A cry for help, no matter how vehement, no matter that it’s so loud it rings out half way across the world, can be forgotten when the signs of pain and anguish get subsumed into a busy working life. The volume and quality of that person’s output can be mistaken for a return to normality when in fact the pain and the hurt actually lie very close to the surface.
Some of us at the Perfect Gentleman recently lost a friend and an acquaintance who had struggled to find a happy path in life for a number of years.
After a huge cry for help some months ago he had returned to a life of apparent normality in London. Outwardly he appeared to have resumed a job he clearly loved. He was passionate about what he did, he worked tirelessly and he was very well regarded by his peers and in the field in which he worked.
But as we all now know, too late, something was wrong and no one saw the signs.
Men are strange creatures. We will spend hours talking about football, women, beer, cigars, food, in fact pretty much anything except our true feelings.
When was the last time you sat down with a male friend and really talked about life and how he really felt?
I’m no psychologist, I’m just a normal chap and I know I very very rarely share my inner feelings with other men, and probably not as often as I should with those who are the closest to me.
If we continue to be this way, how can anyone ever expect to see the sometimes minute signs that signal that someone is so damaged that the only way out is to do something from which there is no return.
There is no doubt that much of the way I feel at the moment comes from not having any way to resolve a situation which is way passed the point where anyone can do anything.
All I can do is remember and be aware next time I get a similar signal from a friend, however close or distant and maybe to try to talk to my male friends in a way that exposes just a little more about the way we feel about things that we never ever talk about.