I have a confession to make. I used to find moustaches scary. Seriously, chaps with moustaches were chaps to be avoided, at all costs! I mean, think about it. In all of those films with the damsels in distress, who is the villain tying her up to the railway tracks?
The guy with the moustache. And as for cartoons, do any of you remember Wacky Races? Who was the chap who cheated all of the time? Dick Dastardly, with the twiddly moustache. And there’s more… a while back, I saw a film with the actor Terry Thomas in it. It was called School for Scoundrels and was all about how to get the girl using nefarious tricks of seduction. Terry Thomas acted Raymond Delawney, the top graduate of the School who, you guessed it, had a moustache. By now, I hope you have an understanding of why I may have found the moustache a little bit scary. It’s association with the most notorious villains did it no good. So, yes, I used to find moustaches scary.
Until recently… a couple of years ago I attended a party. A friend of mine convinced me to come along since he thought I would enjoy it, ‘It’s Vintage darling and besides there is a chap there who I know you’ll really like!’. I was suspicious from the start. However, I decided to go along and see what all of the fuss was about. I went and I met the chap in question. He was indeed very colourful and very charming and… good lord, what was that above his top lip? It was a moustache! I almost fainted with fear. Train tracks and dramatic music played through my mind, Dick Dastardly zoomed past my vision, Raymond Delawney’s leering grin made me physically shiver! Then, out of the depths of somewhere I heard a voice, ‘Are you alright my dear?’. I grounded myself and returned to the room, ‘Oh yes, I’m quite alright, thank you’, I smiled back. Anyway, he turned out to be a lovely chap. Utter flirt but a very amusing one at that. By the end of the evening, I have to say my views on the scariness of the moustache had evaporated. Now, I was a fan. Later, I learnt that that particular gentleman sported a Handlebar moustache and a little further research revealed to me that there was a Handlebar Club which held competitions. Yes. Prizes were given, medals were won at competitions for the best moustache and facial hair both nationally and internationally! I felt as if I had opened a Pandora’s Box. I had discovered a new world – the Hirsute world. And it was rather intriguing to say the least.
So, in conclusion I do like a man with a moustache. But it has to be well kept I think. If a man is to sport such ‘facial furniture’ or ‘topiary’ (terms I have learnt through doing my research) he must do so with style and panache. As the saying goes there is alot of love behind great art and indeed I do think that the art of the moustache is something to be nurtured and encouraged. On the other hand, I do find a clean-cut look appealing too. But, secretly, between you and me, I find a strange appeal in the way a gentleman can twiddle his moustache.