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iStock_000032429360SmallWelcome to our the first in our series of articles about How to have the Perfect Date, we will be going through a series of stages of dating and different types and styles of date. These are all about the actual date itself, including planning for it. We will  do a series soon on confidence and being charming to hopefully help you get that first date but for now it is just the date themselves.

The Coffee Date

Probably the easiest and lightest entry point into the dating world. The ‘Coffee Date’ is relatively modern dating phenomena that is there to reduce the pressure of a full blown date and to be casual, sometimes quick and a little less heavy on the budget. It is helps with awkwardness of meeting strangers, especially those met through an online dating world.

Though some people despise the “coffee date” as cheap and can kill romantic potential. We at the Perfect Gentleman think that they are a useful tool to the dating tool kit. A way to ease the comfort level of your partner, with the general and non-threatening dating environment.

That is certainly not to say that you should not take this seriously and one should put some effort into it. As with all things Perfect Gentleman a little preparation goes a long way. So here are our top tips for having a great ‘Coffee Date’ and hopefully, if there is the spark, this will get you to date two and beyond!

Think of an Interesting Venue:

Don’t just point out the nearest Starbucks on Google. That shows no thought and you are not setting up the idea of romance. Think about a venue that sparks the imagination, a funky coffee shop, a novel tea house, a hotel with great architecture or a beautiful view.

If you have never been there before, take the time to check out the venue, make sure it is suitable. If it has been suggested to you, do the same. You want to know where are the best seats and where you can have a proper conversation.

Timing is Everything:

Unless your dates hectic work schedule won’t allow it, try and make the date in the afternoon. Firstly as people will be more relaxed in the afternoon and not thinking they have to get back to work. Secondly, you can find some nicer places open then, indeed you could transition to Afternoon Tea. And thirdly, if the date is going well, you can always go into drinks and cocktails.

We should have to say this but we will for effect, don’t ever be late.

Make that 1st Impression but Casually:

The Perfect Gentleman always says you must dress to be stylish in all things but in this case unless you are coming straight from work, that dapper 3 piece suit might be too much.  Be smart, be stylish but be somewhat casual, it is after all a coffee date. You have those 7 seconds to make a first impression so make them count.

We suggest, if not straight from work, a smart casual look. Trousers, Good Shoes (they will always check), a shirt with either a blazer or jumper. Think about the impression you make, show respect for the date.

During the date, listen first, it will give you an insight into their mindset and more information about them. We mean truly listen, not just so you can get to your next point. If you are truly interested in someone it shows.

Maintain eye contact, don’t drift around the room. There will be lots of distractions but you need to focus on your date to make them special and the focus of all your attention. Face your date and keep your attention on them.

Coffee is just Coffee:

If you are in a fancy coffee place and you have a fancy coffee order, just order it. Remember it’s not about the coffee, its how you interact with the staff, if you are charming and kind with them then that will say a great deal more about you than what difficult order you have!

After all this is not about the coffee this is about the interaction and you and your date have, you can quite happily let the coffee go cold.

Also this is not a dinner date, so worry not about who picks up the check so much. We say that as Gentleman you should, but in this case don’t make a big deal.

Don’t eat, this is not dinner nor lunch – it is coffee and therefore it’s really about getting to know each other not how good your table manners are.


As you part ways you might be thinking many things so here are the 3 main options.

  • If you like your date, you feel the spark, don’t be afraid to ask for the next date and as it is most often said the 1st date is there to get the 2nd date. In this case the coffee date is there to get the dinner date. So make dinner date plans.
  • You are not quite sure, you like each other but you did not zing. If might be a off day for either of you, so you can always try again.  We would suggest you either look to repeat the coffee or take it up a stage and arrange to have drinks one evening.
  • You either did not spark or you are just not into each other. Politely say goodbye and then let them down gently with a phone call or email later. Your job as a gentleman is to make others feel at ease, so remember that when things are going wrong.

For The Perfect Gentleman in the modern world, the coffee date is a great opening gambit, to start the ball of romance going. Though remember coffee is not just about the coffee.

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